


You're Not Him

by lun_a



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Cute, Fluff, Heavy Angst, M/M, side onghwang if u squint, slight crack (i tried)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 14:42:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16518440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lun_a/pseuds/lun_a
Summary: Woojin doubts himself upon meeting his twin brother's supposed to be 'boyfriend' and now starts to think again of his life decisions. Park Jihoon means trouble and Woojin is fucked up already but he finds himself digging a deeper grave for himself (probably beside his brother's)prompt: woojin's twin dies and while cleaning his room, he finds his twin's diary. he learns of a boy named jihoon and falls in love with him.





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

> i may or may not have stuck with the prompt but just a little but still!! i would firstly want to apologize to the moderators bec probs im the most stubborn author for this fic fest lol thank you for the patience!!
> 
> enjoy!!!

 

  
If there is one unspoken rule between Woojin and Jinwoo, his twin brother, that would be about keeping their private things. Although they have lived all their lives together with no secrets, both of them knew they still had to keep their personal space that they need.

Well, it isn't until Woojin finds a suspicious looking box under Jinwoo's bed two months after his wake. Woojin didn't actually intend to pry or disrespect his brother's belongings after its death— it's just that, curiousity is almost killing Woojin thinking of what the black box holds (because what if it's a human body part?). He has been sitting on the thought of whether opening the box or what for like every night for two months already.

  
And last night, Woojin prayed so hard and asked for his brother's soul to hear him and let him just take a peek of what's inside. As much as he wants Jinwoo to visit him (in any way possible), he doesn't want to be visited in his nightmares, no sir.

"Here we go. Jinwoo, please forgive me after this." Woojin closes his eyes hard as he pulls out the box from under the bed and slowly lifts the cover.

  
"Okay, what the fuck Jinwoo."

 

The box only had an envelope, a letter, most probably and a sticky note that says:

  
_You are supposed to fucking find this Woojin. I'm leaving this letter to you to send it to it's recipient— in the right time (you'll know it). You're allowed to read it dumbass, if you want to. And if you find that person, can you make sure he's doing okay?_

_I love you forever, ugly._

If there wasn't that soft Jinwoo in the end, Woojin would have complained for the errand his brother has left him. But honestly, he's more than willing to do more favors for Jinwoo, if doing so would make him miss his twin brother less. Woojin opens the white envelope and sure, he was hit by the nostalgia of Jinwoo's weird handwriting. Woojin writes legibly for a boy but Jinwoo is on a different level— he writes like a girl, really.

And Woojin could practically hear Jinwoo's voice along the lines of the letter, though he doesn't know if he should be laughing of the cringe or cry of the longing for his (literal) other half. As he reaches the end of the letter, Woojin was smiling ear to ear with stray tears on his cheeks. He doesn't know why but somehow, he wishes he had known of this story before, seen his brother do this in action.

But things get a little too late sometimes.

 

 

 

  
It didn't take Woojin so long of mourning for his lost twin brother. Maybe it was the bond, or the acceptance that Jinwoo has planted in him long before he left and Woojin is more than thankful for the pure heart he got. Upon Jinwoo's passing away (damn his weak heart for giving up so early, Woojin always blames), life has given Woojin more pressure of living the life for the two of them, trying to live for whatever more Jinwoo deserves.

  
If it isn't for his best friend since high school, Daehwi, Woojin wouldn't curse their first day of sophomore year in college.

  
"Seriously, Woojin, when will you ever not be a party pooper?" Jinyoung asks, receiving a non-stop shake of his head by Woojin.

"Seriously, you two. School just started and you're planning on going to the beach? I thought Daehwi was enough of a headache already," Woojin complains.

Daehwi dramatically rolls his eyes but tugs Woojin by the wrist (and Jinyoung on the other), "Come on, we'll be quick."

 

"Aren't you planning on going back to the taekwondo team? One of them was looking for you last week at Jaehwan's party," Daehwi munches on his chips while squirming on his seat. They managed to take Woojin with them and now the eldest had his face all scrunched up, trying to hide his smile from the couple's antics.

"I'm too tired to break more bones this year or my remaining years in college."

"As if you haven't been breaking bones since you were born. What does dance team sound to you?" Jinyoung suggests.

"That breaks as much bones in taekwondo," Woojin rolls his eyes.

  
Woojin isn't necessarily aiming for a boring college life. Honestly, he just wants to focus on his studies. Jinwoo is more of an intellectual than he is, always in the dean's list from nights of sticking his nose in his books while Woojin just broke bones of opponents on competitions he doesn't even know what gives him the benefit of. Taekwondo isn't much of a hobby; it was a sport Woojin grew up to with the interest of learning how to defend Jinwoo for being physically weak from the bullies. Eventually, he has become an athlete on the said sport but frankly, he doesn't find happiness in it. Well, in dancing he does.

It feels like he can express all he can't put into words through dancing. Sure, Woojin is one hell of a noisy character who never shuts up when started with but there still are words and feelings he can't portray easily (which if can't dance it out because that would be totally weird, we just screams incoherent sounds like 'aiyak!' that means literally nothing).

 

As they reach the beach, Woojin ran towards the sand barefooted, shoes on both hands, almost excitedly. Daehwi and Jinyoung kind of expected this. For quite some time, Woojin held himself from anything fun after losing Jinwoo. But maybe this time is just enough for Woojin to realize he's got to go on with life for the both of them twins and that Jinwoo would be nerved to see him enjoying the life he deserves.

  
"Seems like you're finally living again?" Daehwi sits beside Woojin who is drawing on the sand. Jinyoung follows suit.

"I didn't lock myself out, Daehwi. Let's just say, I'm continuing from where I left off," Woojin speaks now rather calmly as he draws a little bird on the sand with a piece of stick he found somewhere.

"And the last time we remember, you were busking on the streets dancing your soul out. We would love to see you again doing that," with Jinyoung's words, Woojin falls into silence and his lips quirking into a smile. He loves dancing, the only thing Jinwoo praises him on between the insults they throw each other. But Woojin now has another thing in mind that he thinks is more important before doing whatever he likes.

"I would love to do it again, but there's something more important I have to focus on now."

Woojin carefully finishes his drawing on the sand, giving the bird's small wings little details that isn't actually much important. The other two beside him sit in silence waiting for Woojin to continue.

"Jinwoo ask me a favor. I need to look for someone."

Daehwi sits up, "Who?"

"I think he's someone who we didn't know had become a big part of Jinwoo's life. My ass of a brother didn't inform that guy he was literally dying until he actually did," Woojin laughs.

"Well, sounds like tough job. Are we looking forward a heavy drama on this?" Jinyoung pipes in.

"I bet so, I have no idea on how to do it and I don't really know what that person looks like."

"But Jinwoo probably described him to you, didn't he? That guy is good at describing people into details," Daehwi guesses to which Woojin nods.

 

  
"Uhm, can we like, eat? I'm hungry," Jinyoung breaks the mood earning him a smack on the head from Daehwi.

"I'm hungry, too. Is there a Subway near? I'm craving for sandwic-- HEY!!" Woojin screams as a pair of running feet stomps on his baby bird on the sand, ruining its beak. He can hear Jinyoung's snickers in the background.

He was about to yell after that someone but something got Woojin's mind somewhere. His sight scans after the person who just passed by, trying to catch a glimpse of him again. Then he remembers.

**_Mismatched pink and green neon laces._ **

"Hey, Woojin! Come on, we're eating!" He realizes his two friends were standing up already. Woojin tries to ignore the thought in his head but he's sure of what he saw.

As they leave, Woojin looks back to where the boy was. He confirms the boy has the laces _but anyone can have those, right?_ Woojin is about to shake off his hunch and go off but someone approaches the boy and calls him by the name,

"Jihoon!"

 

 

 

  
Well, damn. Woojin hasn't been sleeping accordingly ever since that day in the beach. Fucking Lee Daehwi had to notice the bags below his eyes then annoying the hell out of him for being uglier than before.

  
Woojin almost confirmed that boy was the one he's looking for if Jinyoung did not pull him by the arm just in time the boy turned his head when his name was called. Woojin would have seen his face, or maybe just his eyes, because Jinwoo talked about them the most, in complete details for every emotion those eyes has. Woojin practically thinks he can recognize it very well at first look because of Jinwoo's repetitive mention of twinkling eyes.

 

"And _THE_ Park Woojin is spacing out again. So much for my little seminar right here which I specially did for this ungrateful idiot," Daehwi rolled his eyes during lunch as Woojin snaps out of his own train of thoughts.

"I'm sorry what was it again?"

"Daehwi was talking about the dance team accepting new members and why you should join, you dumbass. What were you thinking about?" Jinyoung speaks with his mouth full.

"You're disgusting," Woojin shakes his head. "I was thinking that maybe if you didn't pulled me the other day, I should've seen that's boy's face and recognized him and my task from Jinwoo should have been over and done by now. Why are you always the reason of my agony? Ugh. But anyway, I might think about the dance team, though. Jinwoo likes watching me dance, maybe he'd get a better look of me from heaven now if I continue dancing."

Daehwi lets out a little squeak but frowns right away. "Yay! That's good to hear. But, you aren't still over that boy's incident? And how the fuck are you going to recognize that boy that fast if you haven't seen him yet?"

"Because Jinwoo's talent is describing people? I already memorized that person's look just by his words."

"Whatever you say, weirdo. Whatever you say." Daehwai steals a piece of chicken from Jinyoung's plate who's left the conversation already focusing on his food.

 

 

If it hadn't been fate, Woojin meets the boy in an arcade near their old high school. Woojin wishes he hadn't. The boy was literally screaming at the game character of the zombie game he's playing. Woojin had to squint his eyes at the boy's shoelaces to make sure he's the same boy.

"Fuck you, ugly rotten zombie! Take that banana! Geez, why is this game so twisted, I can't even remember where should I be going- aahh! Shit." Woojin stifles his laugh as the boy shouts when a zombie pops out of nowhere in the screen. After quite some time and few rounds, the boy stood up and drags the gun consoles of the game with Woojin still standing a good few meter awat, watching.

Woojin seemed to be unnoticed, though, as the boy almost strides past him. With a roll of his eyes, Woojin calls out the name he thinks should be right, he wishes to be correct and hopes the boy hears him along the loud noise of arcade games around.

"Jihoon!"

  
Woojin crosses his fingers, when the boy stops and turns to his way, a relieved sigh coming from the former. Said boy steps towards him and squints his eyes from the somehow dim and neon lights of the arcade since it's getting dark outside. Woojin was about to speak again, to ask something but the boy gasps and the next thing Woojin sees are pair of eyes sparkling in tears looking at him.

Woojin panics, but he hears the boy speak, "Jinwoo."

  
Fuck. Woojin forgot he has the same fucking face with Jinwoo. Woojin forgot this boy doesn't know about him, about Jinwoo having a twin and most importantly, this boy doesn't know Jinwoo is gone... which is the sole reason of Woojin's search for this boy and fuck, Woojin almost forgot.

"Jinwoo," the boy, or better say, Jihoon now snakes his arms around Woojin and the latter could hear him sniffing and tears starts to wet the cloth of his shirt on the shoulders, "I thought you are never gonna go back. Damn, I thought you were serious about not being able to fulfill your promise. I thought- no, what's important is you're here now."

Woojin's heart breaks at this, at the sight of Jihoon cupping his face, crying yet so beautifully. Whatever promise Jinwoo made that he knew would only be broken, Woojin thinks of how it hurts now and he was so close of breaking down too, seeing Jihoon in this state.

  
_**Chapped lips that are always innocently asking to be kissed. Eyes that are as beautiful as the night sky. Park Jihoon had nice eyebrows and high nose. A face that screams perfection.** _

  
Woojin could still remember his brother's description of this boy, how every details was way more intricate from his perspective. Every word weighed with love and Woojin now understands. He now understands why his brother made him do this. Except that his weak heart could not handle such situation, there's som kind of telephatic feeling twins have and Jinwoo would have known Woojin is that person that could sympathize with him so well on this. Woojin does.

 

He pulls Jihoon out of the arcade to somewhere more quiet and they stopped behind the high school. Jihoon's tear-starined cheeks are now tinged with slight pink and eyes are looking at Woojin hopefully, anticipating what Woojin has to say.

But the other boy stands there warily in front of Jihoon, looking like a fish that just gotten out of water with his mouth close and opening for like six times already.

"Seriously, Jinwoo. Can you just say what you're gonna say?" Jihoon says impatiently.

Fuck, it's now or never.

 

 

  
"I'm not Jinwoo."

"Fuck you," Jihoon replies as fast as Woojin zips his mouth shut. This made his eyes go wide, quite not ready for such profanity to come from an angelic face like Jihoon.

"I'm not kidding. Jihoon, I'm not Park Jinwoo."

To be honest, Woojin doesn't have any plan in mind. He doesn't know if he should be telling Jihoon this this early or if he should have pretended to be Jinwoo for a while but the moment he saw Jihoon cry, he knew he shouldn't be prolonging the boy's heartbreak— or maybe not.

"Jinwoo, he- he was.. he went back to B-Busan."

It was the least Woojin could do, the lamest lie he could ever make up. Fuck the consequences, he just isn't ready to see this boy in front of him break even more. He doesn't know if Jinwoo would be happy about him breaking such devastating news to this beautiful human then leave. Fuck everything, he's doing this.

  
"Then who are you? And why do you look exactly like Jinwoo? Am I dreaming?" Jihoon asks (cutely) dumb, confusion all over his face.

"Uhm, I'm his twin?" Woojin answers as a matter-of-factly.

"B-But he didn't—"

"Yeah, yeah. He didn't tell you about having a twin. I, actually, didn't know about you either until he told me after he left. Made me look after you while he's gone I guess," Woojin explains, tries not to spill the entire truth. Not that he lied, though.

"Oh." Jihoon looked a little disappointed but his eyes shot back at Woojin, now smiling.

"But aren't you just fucking with me, Park?"

Woojin groans in frustration from Jihoon's undefeated look. By that, Woojin remembers a distinctive difference he has with Jinwoo— he flashes a big smile, and brings his face close to Jihoon's.

"Woah, there. What the fuck?" Jihoon backs away.

"Ugh. Can't you see the proof I'm not Jinwoo?"

"No?"

With a roll of his eyes, Woojin smiles like an idiot again.

"What th- wait, Jinwoo's teeth aren't messy!" Jihoon gasps.

Woojin glares at Jihoon looking very much offended, "Wow, you're the first person who disrespected my _cute_ snaggletooth. How dare you."

Jihoon just snickers at him then walks away. Woojin screams at him.

"Hey, where are you going?!"

"Home? You're not Jinwoo so I don't have any business with you. Thanks for informing me, by the way. I'm just gonna try to contact him later."

"He won't be responding to you-" Woojin almost slipped, -from now on, thank goodness he didn't. "I- I mean he left his phone at home so.." Woojin smiles awkwardly when Jihoon shots him a look.

"Uh, okay. Maybe tell him to give me a call when he comes back. Thanks again." Jihoon turns his back.

"Aren't you gonna ask for my name?" Woojin yells again.

"You're annoying! No, I'm not! See you around, messy tooth!" Jihoon yells back.

Woojin hasn't been that offended in his whole life.


	2. ii

  
Daehwi pushes Woojin into the room where the auditions for the dance team would be taking place any minute now. With a scowl on his face, Woojin turns around and puts both of his hands on his waist.

"Hold the fuck up, Lee Daehwi. Fine, I'm going in. You don't have to force me."

Daehwi sighs in relief, "Dumbass. You should've just told me earlier."

"I told you he would do it," Jinyoung whispers from the side. Daehwi dismisses him right away.

"Whatever. Woojin, I know you still got my song in your phone and I bet you still remembers your choreography for it or you could just freestyle all throughout the song but either way, good luck!" Daehwi once again pushes Woojin closer to the room's entrance and gives him a pat on his hair. Jinyoung copies.

"Just go now! I'll see you tomorrow," Woojin waves his friends off and enters the hall.

 

 

For being someone who grew up dancing on different reasons, Woojin has gained that confidence in him. He likes the adrenaline of being on stage through the beat of music and moving his body with it, so much that sometimes, he literally thinks everything is empty space and he's the only one dancing. This audition is just one of those many other ones he went to, and have been accepted so he bets his allowance on being accepted too this time. He may have stopped dancing and busking for quite a while but Woojin trusts himself on this. (Trusts Jinwoo too, he unspokenly credits his brother as reasons for everything he does now.)

 

So Woojin steps on the stage, heads of the club seated in front and the other senior members in the audience together with the auditionees who already finished performing. There was a light thump in Woojin's chest as he feels a bit intimidated by the stares around him but as the music starts, a smirk automatically comes up to his face and his facial expressions follows his moves.

There were gasps of awe among the crowd which made Woojin more hyped up, making him look more powerful as he dances. The music he chose was all too familiar— _Welcome to my Hollywood_ was one of those songs Daehwi composed. It was actually Jinwoo's favorite from all of Daehwi's works so Woojin decided to make up a choreography for it. It was also the song they dance to on one of their busking in Hongdae, the first and last busking he did with Jinwoo in the audience.

 

As Woojin flips near the end of the song, an applause could already be heard and only got louder when he does his last move. The fierce and mad character in Woojin's face was immediately gone as soon as he bows, yet transformed into a soft and polite smile, letting his snaggletooth be seen.

 

And like he expected, he was showered with good comments ( _the best comments, actually,_ says Hyeongseob who was one of the auditionees who passed) and of course, got accepted into the group. After taking his seat invthe audience, the others came to congratulate him and tell him he was the first one to put the panels in awe and was the best among the auditionees. Woojin took all the compliments politely and humbly as he can, lips pursing into thin line as he gets a little embarrassed and flattered by their words.

  
Several students later, one enters with his oversized hoodie's hood on his head, almost engulfing his whole figure. Woojin can't see his face from where he was seated but when his gaze reaches the boy's sneakers, there he knows.

"Fucking Park Jihoon," Woojin mumbles but Youngmin, a junior member somehow hears him.

"You know him?"

Woojin realizes his voice might have been a bit loud but he unsurely nods his head, "I think so. We've met before and he's the only person I know who owns a pair of shoes with mismatched laces." He points out and Youngmin chuckles.

"He's a transferee, I heard but he's pretty good. Almost as good as you," Woojin feels heat on his face from the indirect compliment and tilts his head. He just smiles and continues watching Jihoon.

Unexpectedly, the music becomes a bit faster and Jihoon starts popping and suddenly the audience and the panels starts to sit on the edges of their chair from Jihoon's performance. By the end of his dance, everyone is cheering for him and asking for one more short performance which he did.

Jihoon passed the auditions with the panels' comments almost similar to Woojin's but Woojin tries to dodge the thought. Youngmin then nudges him as Jihoon walks down the stage to the audience.

"Bet you got competitions here, huh?"

 

Well, Woojin doesn't know how to feel, because of all people to be rivals with, why Park Jihoon?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing could've been any better the next day except that Woojin got notified of their first rehearsals as part of the dance team after class. Daehwi and Jinyoung didn't help cheer him up when they mentioned Jihoon. Honestly, Woojin knows he should be nice to Jihoon, heck he should even be looking out for that boy. What he doesn't understand is finding Jihoon is a big head after observing he definitely liked the attention he got being named as rivals with Park Woojin. Yep, Woojin saw that smirk on Jihoon's face from the label "Park vs. Park".

  
Aside from it, nothing seems bad about Jihoon. Woojin read his brother's description of Jihoon once again the other night and he is slowly getting convinced how this boy got Jinwoo's attention. Maybe he doesn't want to like Park Jihoon as a person per se, but if fate could get any twisted, he just ends up crossing paths with this boy either way.

_Just for Jinwoo, do this just for Jinwoo_. Woojin tries to tell himself as he enters the dance studio. He spots Jihoon talking all friendly to their upperclassmen. He seems harmless though, and once more, Woojin thinks that if Jinwoo did not leave him a favor, he can just easily stay away from Jihoon.

He knows from Jihoon's eyes that the boy means _danger_ — behind those pretty eyes is screaming trouble and Woojin doesn't want to meddle. In any other circumstances, he can probably just dodge the presence of this kid every time but he'a got to be nice with Park Jihoon. After all, he's going to break his heart, whether he like it or not.

 

"Hey, messy tooth," Jihoon approaches him rather friendly after Woojin got back from changing his clothes. Woojin rolls his eyes.

"Aren't you too friendly compared when we last talked?" Woojin asks, not looking up from fixing his things.

"Can't you just be thankful I'm kind of approaching you, Park Woojin?" Jihoon smirks.

"Wow, you know my name now huh?" Woojin finally puts down his bag and looks at Jihoon. The other boy leans by the wall.

"Your name was kind of loud yesterday from the auditions so how could I even not know it's you? And it's a little interesting how you and your brother actually have the same syllables in your names, just in opposite positions so it'd sound different," Jihoon says, amused.

Woojin cocks his head on the side, as if trying to hear more of a news that isn't even new to him. Their names were actually just inverted by their parents just because they're twins and can't think of any more names, "Well, too observant of you, Park."

"You know, now I'm convinced you're twins. You two are annoying shits."

"And how could you say that?" Woojin walks away and Jihoon strays. They stretched quietly along the others who started already.

"Your presence alone screams confidence but arrogance screams louder, quite not far from your brother who argued with our professor last year in Chemistry when he was the one who came in late and the professor, well, just lectured how it is so unprofessional. Sounds rude, but yeah, Jinwoo did that."

Woojin laughs. Jinwoo used to do that a lot— argue with people even if sometimes he's the wrong one but still wins.

"But I haven't done anything that showed arrogance yet?" Woojin defends.

"Not yet for you, mister. But I've seen your glaring eyes yesterday after they made us rivals, as if you're already competing with me through your aura. Yeah, totally humble of you there," It was Jihoon now who laughs.

At some point, Woojin thinks Jihoon has known Jinwoo even better than he did. Just the fact that he read Woojin that easily when they haven't even interacted that much is already a hint. Woojin always gets that he and Jinwoo aren't totally opposite and are practically twins in terms of attitude so if someone gets to know either one of them truly, then they would know as much of the other.

  
During the practice, Woojin slowly found himself warming to Jihoon. They were somehow (obviously) paired up when they were tasked to do their own choreography to a certain song. As they worked, Woojin thought Jihoon was really comparible for being his dance partner, yeah. The two of them compliments each other's ideas and easily comes up with the moves simultaneously so they finished the song in a few hours and managed to squeeze in a little chats in between.

Woojin also learned that Jihoon transferred schools because their family moved near, which is already too far from their old place, so he had no choice.

 

"Oh right, why didn't you go to the same university as Jinwoo?" Jihoon asks curiously after they finished.

"We already went to the same schools ever since kindergarten, so I told him maybe we should try different places in college. Also, I'm tired being compared to that smartass. You know him, now you know how I'm too different from him when it come to studies," Woojin replies as he munches on his chips Jihoon keeps on stealing.

"I can't disagree to you on that, but why were you the one to take the farther university? Not that I'm not happy being on the same college with him but, both universities went to offers both your courses, so why you?"

Woojin thinks of avoiding the question but isn't easy to escape this time. His university is four bus stops from home while Jinwoo's is only a ten-minute ride away. Woojin took the farther one because of course, he can't risk his brother's heart for travelling too far just to go to school.

"Uh, well because Daehwi, our childhood friend got admitted here so I took it," Woojin answers vaguely. He sighs when Jihoon nods only to be asked once again. Woojin sighs again.

"But, what is Jinwoo doing in Busan right now? Is he planning to stop going to school?" There's a glint of concern and fear in Jihoon's eyes Woojin can't point what is. His question terrifies Woojin that he might not make it this time but he braves himself and looks at Jihoon.

"I don't know. Jinwoo is indecisive at times but I bet he won't give up studying easily. Our family business just needed some help of his brain there so he went."

Woojin hates lying. He hates not telling the truth right away. He may have lied a lot in his life but he had reasons and mostly are white lies. But this time, his lies held feelings that would eventually be broken and he holds himself for the consequences of his words.

Jihoon looked sad after Woojin answered but smiles either way and nods at Woojin, "Okay. As long as I know where he is and he's okay, I'm good. He's doing fine there, Woojin, isn't he?"

Woojin mumbles yes in a small voice, a small smile to Jihoon as he dips his head trying to hold his emotions.

_He's totally fine and okay up there, Jihoon. He's really okay._


	3. iii

  
It didn't took too long for Woojin and Jihoon to be close and comfortable with each other. Rehearsals got even more frequent due to the upcoming annual inter-collegiate dance competition and the two of them ended up being co-centers for almost all of their routines so they spent more time than they expected to. Despite being only sophomores, their seniors looks up to both their talents and even the whole university knows of them. And Jihoon's never ending tease to Woojin continues.

"Hey, big head," Jihoon calls Woojin on their way to meeting Daehwi and Jinyoung for lunch. Eventually, the two joined the friendship and now them four idiots started to lurk around the hallways every break time.

"Says you, jigglypuff," Woojin shots back, earning him a glare from Jihoon. The latter hates being called that, from that time he went to their personal practice (yeah, just the two of them, in an empty skate park that somehow became a habit after becoming leads, having said, in their routines) and Jihoon wore an oversized pink hoodie making him look like a sad jigglypuff.

  
"I got a dog yesterday."

Woojin looks at Jihoon with a blank face, "So?"

Jihoon groans and rolls his eyes, "Sometimes, I wonder why still talk to you."

"You love me," Woojin whistles.

" _Your brother,_ may I correct you. Just because you share the same face doesn't mean I see you the way I see Jinwoo. You're not him."

Woojin grasps his shirt by his chest, "Hey! That hurt!"

"Oh shut up, will you. You're.. different," Jihoon side eyes Woojin who now clings to him.

"But I can be Jinwoo while he's gone. I can, um, be him for you for a while?" Damn, shit hurts real this time. Woojin hopes Jihoon doesn't notice him gripping his arm tighter.

"No. I was reminded your messy tooth makes you uglier that Jinwoo. And again, no one can replace my Jinwoo."

"Damn, whipped you are."

  
Woojin kind of finds it endearing when Jihoon easily admitted he's inlove with Jinwoo but isn't just ready to confess just yet. On the other side of the story, this made the task even harder for Woojin. Jihoon got comfortable around Woojin so easily, so fast that it wasn't a big deal now talking about how he likes Jinwoo. And it bothers Woojin so much, of how and when should he breaks it to Jihoon.

 

  
Daehwi and Jinyoung arrives just when they did and the four of them sat on their usual table. It was just a usual afternoon for them, filled with Jinyoung's stories of how Daehwi annoyed him after class that Jihoon and Woojin left them for dance practice, and bickering of the other two about who should buy snacks next time. A beat of silence was all it took to change the atmosphere they were having.

  
"Wooj," Jihoon nudges Woojin beside him after biting on his chicken.

Woojin hums and looks at Jihoon, casually removing the rice stuck by Jihoon's lips. Daehwi chokes on his water.

"When is Jinwoo coming back?"

 

Daehwi stops coughing. Jinyoung drops his chopsticks slowly.

Woojin stares at Jihoon.

 

"Hey," Jihoon looks at Woojin back warily, then to Daehwi and Jinyoung who both avoided his eyes, "Did I say something wrong? I mean, it has been four months and I haven't event talk to him yet."

This would have been a nice teasing moment for them to notice Jihoon's pout but the three of them panics at the same time and Woojin knows he should speak before Jihoon freaks out.

  
"Uh, he talked to Woojin the other night and he said the signal is very hard to reach from where he is. He said he doesn't know when he'll be coming back because they grandparents are needing his help more frequently," Daehwi was the first one to recover and speak for Woojin who he urges to back him up with a glare.

  
"Yeah. Said he couldn't take and make calls properly so we'll just wait for hjm to call again," Woojin says timidly.

Once again, there's the same sad look on Jihoon's face which of course, he covers with a sweet smile and nods saying, "Okay, messy tooth, if you say so."

 

 

 

 

  
Couple of days after, the dance team was given a week of rest from practice before they go on with the hardcore rehearsals for the nearing competition.

As if none of them doesn't feel it, Daehwi opens up a topic they have been trying not to talk about for the past months. He, Jinyoung and Woojin were sitting on Woojin's rooftop that night talking about random things like they used to do with Jinwoo.

 

"Woojin, when are you going to tell Jihoon?" Daehwi asked, concern laced in his voice.

Woojin shakes his head with a light-hearted laugh, "I don't know. All I knew before is that I should find him, know if he's okay and tell him Jinwoo's gone forever and my task is done."

"Which you should have done but you didn't," Jinyoung comments and Woojin nods.

"I should have. But I didn't know I would find him that easily. More so, I didn't know it would be hard."

Daehwi sighs, "But why didn't you tell him already when you first talked, when you were just strangers?"

"It was his eyes," Woojin messes his hair in frustration, "his eyes shouted in happiness when he saw me, thinking I was Jinwoo. And when he cried, I knew that it isn't the right time to break his heart."

"And you think prolonging him having hopes of meeting Jinwoo again is a good idea? That delaying the time of Jihoon knowing the truth is the right time for breaking his heart?" Daehwi asks.

Woojin knows Daehwi's got a point but, "I just thought so. I just thought he isn't prepared that time to know about the truth. He doesn't even know Jinwoo's heart condition, he doesn't even know why he suddenly disappeared. I don't know why I did that, really."

He hears both of his friends sigh again, feeling them tap his shoulders in comfort.

"You're getting attached, Woojin. We can see that. That's why it becomes harder for you to tell him," Jinyoung says.

Woojin knows it's true.

 

 

  
Days before the competition, Woojin acts around Jihoon like the usual. Thankfully, Daehwi and Jinyoung played around. Their lunch breaks together got a little lesser though, Jihoon and Woojin have been skipping classes (they're excused, alright) and they eating schedules were way more adjusted due to non-stop practices. They were exhausted, all of their time even for sleep was occupied by the damn dance rehearsals. Jihoon complains to Woojin more, and being the nice listener Woojin is, he just lets him which was actually a relief to Jihoon.

During these times, Woojin finds talking to Jihoon in between breaks and late night bus rides the only thing that takes away his stress. He found a new hobby of watching Jihoon sleep entertaining, fixing Jihoon's messy things something enjoyable.

Woojin slowly finds himself taking care of Jihoon more than he planned he should be. Him reminding Jihoon not to forget to eat has become something normal to them, and Jihoon calling him to wake up every morning has somehow became a thing neither of them could live without.

  
Woojin finds comfort hearing Jihoon's voice. And little by little Woojin discovers the danger— the trouble behind Jihoon's eyes.

  
It was falling in love with him.

The moment they were announced champions of the competition, Woojin finds Jihoon through the crowd in reflex only to find the other one yelling his name and when they found each other, Jihoon smiles the brightest.

"Woojin!! We won!! We freaking won, oh my god!" Jihoon bounces on his feet in genuine happiness and jumps on Woojin, hugging him so tight.

"I know, I know. Yeah? We won!" Woojin says as happily and hugs Jihoon back until all of their crew joined in and they ended up in a group hug.

  
And the night on their way home from the afterparty, Jihoon wasn't drunk neither Woojin. They were just buzzed after two or three shots and that's all. It wasn't even the first time Woojin walked Jihoon home but he knows this time is different.

  
Woojin, stuck in the middle of taking care of his brother's boy and finding himself falling in love, tries to open his mouth and confess. Well, not after a minute he tries to speak that he recalls his task and how he should just stick with that task only. His brother's favor should be his priority, and not his stupid cardiac muscle that seems to not be doing it's job correctly these past few days.

So he braves up and grasps Jihoon's hand instead, in attempt to guide him not trip on the tiny rocks they meet every four steps or so (Jihoon can see clearly still but as said, they're buzzed).

"Hey!" Jihoon snaps, "This is just a bro thing right?"

Woojin furrows his eyebrows at Jihoon but hums in response, "Yeah? I mean, me and Jinwoo hold hands too."

"Aahh, of course he's your brother but I'm not, you idiot!" Jihoon protests but doesn't let go either.

Woojin smiles. Maybe this is enough. Afterall, Jihoon belonged to his brother first no matter what he do and he knows too well to whom does Jihoon's heart belongs to. Woojin knows his place, and even though somewhere beyond the line he has this chance, _fate gave him a chance_ , but he would be hurting Jihoon a lot in the future and that would be enough to say they aren't meant for each other.

  
He waves Jihoon goodbye as they reach his house. Woojin memorizes the smile Jihoon gives him as he closed the door behind him and Woojin has to drag his feet away from where he stood.


	4. iv

 

Since the competition was over and there have been no announcements of other ones yet, the dance team is on break from rehearsals so Jihoon and Woojin goes back to their normal lives.

It wasn't easy adjusting to their new schedule since the second semester has already started but Woojin was able to cope with it but Jihoon seems not.

He kept complaining being lost finding his next class, and how he has class schedules from both ends of the campus.

  
"Can you believe that fucking Mr. Jang deducted ten points from my seatwork just because I was three minutes late? The lecture hall was in the third floor at East building and I came all the way from the West! I only had ten minutes to run!" Jihoon puts down his food tray on the table and Daehwi laughs at his misery.

"Maybe you lack exercise already. How long has it been? It's just a week since your last training?" Jinyoung snickers.

"I'm not weak, if that's what you're saying. At least have a heart! Geez," Jihoon shakes his head and angrily bites on his chicken wings.

"Ew. You eat with your bare hands?" Daehwi makes a face as Jihoon continues to eat his food.

"He does that all the time. Don't mind him, that's his way of enjoying his favorite food," Woojin answers, petting Jihoon's mop of gray hair making the latter nod his head happily like he wasn't flaring up just minutes ago.

  
"Anyway, is Ms. Yoon your professor?" Daehwi asks.

"No. But the pretty one? I think I saw her in the hallways once and heard students talking about her doll face," Woojin replies.

Jinyoung also snaps his head up, "She's Jisung-hyung's younger sister. Remember the owner of our favorite bakeshop? Heard she's only a part-time lecturer here, though."

  
"Jisung hyung's sister? They don't seem to share the same genes!" Woojin asks, wide-eyed.

"Not shocking. You and Jinwoo are twins but Jinwoo looks better than you," Daehwi sticks his tongue out and Woojin throws a green pea towards him.

Meanwhile, Jihoon who was quiet all the time because he was focused on eating his food, plate almost empty starts to cough. The other three just stares at him amused until Daehwi speaks,

"I think he's choking."

"Yeah," Jinyoung nods.

Jihoon had to smack Woojin in the head who is just beside him and watching him die.

 

 

 

 

  
It was a lazy morning weeks later and Woojin walks across the university's lobby like a zombie, after having only three hours of sleep from watching a Japanese anime movie (Your Name) at midnight, and crying about it at two in the morning. He fell asleep with wet cheeks at three until his mom wakes him up at six. What a life.

"Messy tooth!" A voice not far from where Woojin slumped walks calls. It was Jihoon. Woojin wasn't given enough time to retort as Jihoon strides fast towards him and grabs him by the wrist.

"What the fuck, Jihoon."

Jihoon checks Woojin's face when they halt in the parking lot and frowns, "Did you sleep? You look dead."

"Yeah. Why did you drag me here?"

"We're skipping school today. We're going somewhere," Jihoon pulls him towards a car and opens the shotgun seat's door and ushers Woojin in.

"No shit, where did you even get a car? And do you even know how to drive?"

"That was offending but I'll pretend to not hear it. This is my dad's but parents are out of town and left the keys so I had it sneaked out and secondly, I'm twenty and definitely I know how to drive," Jihoon shoves his driver's license to Woojin's face and pushes him into the car. Woojin groans.

 

  
"You know, for a sleep deprived human, you should be sleeping and not eating," Jihoon yanks at Woojin's arm after stealing his drink while he's busy driving.

"Am I not allowed to get hungry?" Woojin shots back, crumbs of bread coming out of his full mouth.

"Watch it! At least have some decency in my parents' car."

"Wow. Says the one who stole it."

"I did not."

"But it's not yours."

Jihoon rolls his eyes at Woojin and just shuts his mouth as the latter continues to eat and starts telling weird stories.

 

"Do you believe Ronald McDonald has a wife? Someone told me he has," Woojin says and Jihoon scowls at him making the former laugh and choke on his drink.

 

 

  
An hour later, there was silence in the car as Woojin eventually got tired and fell asleep. He even had the energy to ask Jihoon where they are going for a good fifteen minutes before giving up and told stories again. Jihoon sighed in relief hearing Woojin's loud snore later (he had to stop in the middle of the road to catch Woojin's drool from his mouth open with a tissue, saving the clean car seat from being dirty, Jihoon almost threw Woojin out of the window) and was able to enjoy the soft music he was playing through the speakers.

The ride was absolutely peaceful not until Jihoon holds himself for the upcoming mess waking up Woojin would bring. He takes a deep breath before shaking Woojin awake who is now almost falling out of his seat.

"Hey, Wooj," No response, "Park Woojin."

Woojin only groans and slaps Jihoon's hand away.

"Ugh. Woojin, you wake up or I'm kicking you out of the car- Woojin!" Jihoon who has a very little patience already lost it and pulled Woojin's hair.

"Aahh- the fuck, Jihoon?!" Woojin yells, opening his eyes (who wouldn't?)

"We're here," Jihoon sighs to hold his laugh from the shriek Woojin just let out after waking up.

"Here? We're in the middle of a highway leading to somewhere that looks like a city of trees? Park Jihoon, what are you planning to do with me?" Woojin asks, scandalized with his arms dramatically draped to cover his body.

Jihoon rolls his eyes and flicks Woojin's forehead, "Ugh. We're in the boarders of Busan as you can see.." Jihoon points at a huge road sign beside the road that's almost empty, "..and I don't exactly know where to go next so I woke you up."

 

Hold it. Fuck. _Busan_. They're in Busan.  
And Woojin knows already what this means.

"Asshat. Don't look at me like that. Tell me where your place here in Busan is. I wanted to surprise Jinwoo," Jihoon snaps in front of Woojin.

Woojin blinks.

Fuck.

 

 

  
Woojin panics internally but he stays still, staring into nothing. He can see Jihoon in his peripherals turning on his phone and typing quietly while (maybe) waiting for Woojin to go back to his senses.

But fuck, he doesn't know what to do. He thinks of calling Jinyoung or Daehwi for help but he knows they'll only tell him one thing:

  
Tell Jihoon the truth.

  
Bullshit. Woojin isn't ready.

He prays to Jinwoo to at least show him something or whispers what better excuse to tell Jihoon; tell him their house suddenly disappeared? Jihoon won't but it. Tell him Jinwoo is not home? But how would he know when he said it's hard to contact Jinwoo at Busan? What? Shit.

  
Woojin doesn't know.

  
"Woojin, come on. Let's get there already," Jihoon says, putting down his phone and starts the engine.

Woojin's mind tells him something his heart doesn't want but his body makes him. So he goes.

"Jihoon," Woojin looks up and faces Jihoon, eyes tired and apologetic and Jihoon just hums, turning to him.

"Jihoon, let's go back," Woojin holds his breath and waits for Jihoon to freak out.

"What?"

 

"I said, let's go back now. There's no point." Fuck. He shouldn't have said it this early.

"No point? What the fuck are you talking about now, Woojin?" Jihoon asks, confused.

"Just listen to me and let's go back home now."

  
"No, Woojin. What the fuck? I'm just asking you to lead the way to meet Jinwoo. You told me he's here, right? And we're almost there, so what are you saying now let's go back?" Woojin knows Jihoon is losing it by now, just looking at how his knuckles almost turns white from his tight grip on the steering wheel.

  
"Jihoon, please. I don't want you to do this, let's go back now." Woojin says firmly, holding back whatever words he thinks of saying.

  
"What- Park Woojin, is there something you are not telling me?"

Jihoon grabs Woojin's arm, making them face each other. There was guilt in Woojin's eyes Jihoon chose to ignore and Woojin can't tell if Jihoon's eyes are sparkling of possible tears to fall because it always looked like glistening like this.

  
And when Woojin doesn't speak, Jihoon grabs a hold of his hand and urges him to respond, "Woojin, I need you to talk and explain to me what is wrong, what the fuck are you talking about and what is really going on. Please."

  
Jihoon's voice was pleading and Woojin can't stand this anymore.

"Jinwoo is not here in Busan."

Shock was evident in Jihoon's eyes just like Woojin expected and his silence was Woojin's cue to speak again.

"He isn't in Seoul, either." Woojin looks down at their interlaced hands where he felt Jihoon's grip loosened and back to Jihoon's eyes.

"I can lead us to our place here but it would be pointless. Jinwoo's not there so I'm telling you we should go back."

"How did you know? Was he really here? Or did you lie to me?" Jihoon's voice was firm, one that Woojin can't even recognize after hearing it for the first time now.

"I'm sorry, Jihoon," Woojin looks at him sincerely but Jihoon's eyes are unsteady and his grip tightens on Woojin's again.

"Then where is Jinwoo?" There was hope in the older's shaking voice and Woojin can hear his heart break even more into their conversation.

He shakes his head.

"Jihoon. Jinwoo, he- he's not here anymore. He's not here anymore." Hot tears started to fall from Woojin's eyes that startled Jihoon, making the later more confused and panicked.

"What do you mean he's not here? If he's not here then where is he?"

Woojin just shakes his head.

"Woojin, where is-"

 

"He's gone, Jihoon! He's gone, he's dead! Jihoon, he's not gonna come back anymore!" Woojin shouts, not being able to hold it anymore and Jihoon drops his hand, Woojin can see it shaking but so are his and he can't do anything about it.

His eyes are blurred with tears, yet he can see Jihoon's eyes, as he look up at him, flash a vision of fear, hurt and uncertainty which Woojin knows are all his fault. He knows he betrayed Jihoon, he betrayed the man he has fallen in love with and if this hurts Woojin so much, he's aware Jihoon is hurting more than he does.

"Fuck you, Woojin. He isn't." Jihoon shakes his head, facing front.

"I'm telling the truth, Jihoon. Jinwoo is gone. He's not with us anymore and I-"

"Shut up! Tell me where he is," Jihoon starts the engine but Woojin grabs his arm.

"Jihoon, listen to me," Woojin pleads but Jihoon steps on the accelerator and the car moves. "Stop the car! Fuck, Jihoon, stop!"

And Jihoon steps on the brake, looks up at Woojin— tears flowing non-stop from his eyes and Woojin can hear his sobs. Shit. This is his fault. Jihoon is fucking hurt right in front of his eyes.

Woojin panics and grabs Jihoon's cheeks trying to wipe them but they seem not to dry up because of his tears. Woojin starts to cry too.

"Goddamit, Woojin stop crying."

"Shut up. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jihoon. I'm sorry," Woojin kisses Jihoon's eyes and goes out of the car, opening the driver's seat.

"Move." He pushes a confused Jihoon out of his seat but he doesn't speak and just moves to Woojin's previous seat.


End file.
